Updated Storyboard After More Specific Research and Feedback

After our presentation, we became aware of plot holes, areas of the story that needed refining and sections of the trailer that weren't clear in terms of the main narrative. This was the main issue picked up - our audience weren't entirely clear about the plot, and to be honest,nor were we. We have spent a lot of time talking about this and seeing where we can make changes. We tried to address these issues and have come up with a much longer and more complete storyboard:

We have added in more characters, which should create red herrings so it is not so obvious who the murderer is. Adding in e.g. the caretaker also allows us to make other points clear in a really concise way - for example, him saying 'It's that way' makes it clear she is in a new school and doesn't know where she is going. We have added more scenes with dialogue as we need this to make our plot clear. We had included all the main action scenes in our previous storyboard, but we did not have enough linking scenes. We went back to our evaluation of our trailer practice and reminded ourselves that trailers do need establishing shots as well as shots of the main disruption, but these are shots of relationships and emotions rather than e.g.locations and we did not have enough in our first draft. We have also done some re-ordering to give the trailer a kind of inbternal structure, finding shots that match - for example grouping running shots, shouting shots, shots with similar actions / movement etc.